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Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

  • Yesterday I went to the doctor again.  All things considered it went alright.  Of course he didn't tell me the things that I wanted to hear and insisted that we wait one more month before we start trying again.  I was just going to ignore this recommendation, but I trust him and he wants us to try some other meds and it was already too late this month to start taking them.  I can honestly say that my doctor is the thing that I'm going to be the most sad about leaving when we move.  He is such a wonderful doctor.  I love having a doctor who truly respects life and exam rooms that have a crucifix hanging on the wall. 

    So since I have to push baby thoughts out of my mind for another month, I'm trying really hard to focus on exercising and eating well.  I've been doing my favorite workout video a lot lately and I can notice a difference.  (Its The 30 Shred with Jillian Michaels)  And I've been trying to use recipes from my low glycemic index cookbooks.  I have found a few that I really like.  One is chocolate waffles.  They are great cause I can make up a bunch and put them in the freezer and then grab and toast for a quick breakfast.  Mark even really likes them. 

    Knitting also helps me.  I read that the repetitive motion of knitting can induce the same kind of effect in the brain as meditation.  And it really does help keep me relaxed.  Funny thing is that my favorite thing to knit is still baby booties.  I have several pair of them laying around now.  Every other baby thing I was working on is not stashed in a tote in the closet so that I don't have to look at them.  I guess that all of the booties I have been working on were never intended for Francis so that makes a big difference.  I still haven't been able to touch the sweater I was making.  I guess I could finish it up and give it to Joey for Christmas.  I'll see.  But I am also working on some beautiful gloves.  I'm so excited about them.  I ordered some shorter needles and that will help big time with knitting the fingers.  I wish I could spend my days knitting and not have to go to work. 

Monday, 09 November 2009

  • Keep 'em comin' please!

    So I have had three really good days all in a row!  Its so exciting for me.  I guess that going and telling Jesus that I was mad at him really did help because I've been feeling so much better ever since then.  (And its not that I walked in and declared "I'm mad at you" and walked out.  I did ask him to help me out because I didn't know how to handle any of the things that had been going on.) I was even in such a good mood yesterday that I wanted to go shopping.  I got a different dress for my brother-in-laws wedding (I had one but it was a maternity dress).  Its my first ever little black dress.  I love it!  And Saturday night was the Marine Corps Ball.  Its always fun to get dressed up and its even more fun to get to walk around with a handsome man in uniform!  Friday night I hung out by myself and I didn't cry.  (thats a big achievement for me) I started working on a pair of gloves that I'm making for myself.  I'm so excited about them.  So far I have the thumb gusset done and the stitches for the thumb pulled off and now I'm working up to the fingers.



    I also have been trying to fix things.  I got the microwave to stop arching.  I bought stuff to fix my bed but I'm still to nervous to do it.  We might wait for my brother-in-law to come visit.  But I might work up the courage to try to do it myself.  And I still need to call a repair man about the washer.  I need to do laundry, but I have to be around to manually switch the parts of the cycle so I have to do it when I'm awake and can stop what I'm doing every so often.  And I replaced the broken bulb in the refrigerator. 

    Now today I'm going to the doctor.  He told me that I was supposed to wait two months before I came to see him.  But I didn't want to wait any longer.  Hopefully this goes well.  I just feel like I should prepare myself for anything at this point in time.  I'm also extremely curious to see what he has to say about the miscarriage.  I haven't been to see this doctor since the day we found out the baby had died.  I've been seeing someone else because I had to be referred to a doctor that does D&Cs.  Ok, wish me luck.  I hope that this day doesn't go downhill. 

Friday, 06 November 2009

  • I'm hoping today is a better day.  At least I didn't wake up to something that would set me off.  Although my microwave was sparking.  Gonna have to look into that.  And get the washing machine fixed and try to fix my bed.  Why does everything have to break at the same time?  I'm going to try to not let it get to me today.  I cried enough yesterday to last me a year. 

Thursday, 05 November 2009

  • I went to adoration today.  I told Jesus that I am mad at him.  I don't know if it helped or not.  Today has been miserable and its only noon.  Yuck.  I just want to go home. 

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